Getting on with life is hard to do if you keep yourself busy. This is something I am very good at…keeping busy. Sometimes it is an effect of too much caffeine. Sometimes it is the effect of being a perfectionist. Sometimes it is an effect of too much grief.
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10)
But I can’t be still, I keep moving, keep turning, keep looking, keep mourning, keep doing WHATEVER it is that puts itself in front of me to do, so that I don’t have to look to my right or left & watch my life unfold before my eyes.
But I don’t want to be still, I don’t want to sit down, stop talking, quit moving, leave my work unfinished so that I can take time to ponder what is happening around me.
I am afraid to be still, to quiet myself before His feet & weep uncontrollably for the anguish I feel. It scares me to become vulnerable and open, letting my true heart unravel in His hands so that He can restore it in a new way, a whole way, a complete way, that is mended by Him alone. Brokenness is not something I desire, not something I always strive for, but something my heart is aching for.
Can I be still & know that He is God? Listen to the words of a precious hymn that has given me perspective in other difficult times. Maybe it will touch you also.
Speak Lord in the stillness, While I wait on Thee;
Hushed my heart to listen In expectancy.
Speak, O blessed Master, In this quiet hour;
Let me see Thy face, Lord, Feel Thy touch of power.
For the words Thou speakest, “They are life, indeed;
Living bread from heaven, Now my spirit feed.”
All to Thee is yielded, I am not my own;
Blissful, glad surrender- I am Thine alone.