Questions or Statements

So many people have been speaking to me, and telling me…”I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say, and don’t worry….I won’t be the millionth person to ask how you are.” Well, I want to give you permission to ask.

The simple truth is…in my attempt to be honest with myself & with those around me, I fail in offering up much information about how I feel or what I struggle with.  However, if someone directly asks me not just how I feel, but how do I feel about: ______ or what will I miss about:______ or how will:______ impact the ____ part of your life? Those questions are all good, normal & welcomed.

In this shock and awe of grief, my mind is not actively thinking about how my life is changing, has changed or will change. I’m just trying to simply survive from one second to the next. Laying one foot down in front of the other. Drive one more mile without crying.

I’ll tell you this too….don’t be afraid to ask me about things, because if I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll tell you. I’m becoming better at saying “no thanks” when things come to me that I don’t want to share….so I’ll let you know if I can’t talk about what you’re wanting to know, and I won’t be mad that you asked, okay?

Alright, now that all that is on the table, I hope you feel a little more comfortable talking to me, and I hope you’ll take advantage of my openness.


One thought on “Questions or Statements

  1. Julia says:

    Great post, and I'll try more often to ask better questions. You are so wise in your analysis.

    And, we hope that you'll also feel free to just talk about whatever whenever you want, even if we don't ask. It's not too much for us,and we won't ever get tired of hearing about what you remember about your mom, or what you're feeling, or anything. Just so you know – we DO love you, we DO care, and if we don't ask it's not because we don't. But, I'll ask you anyways.


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