Today, I remember the life of my Mom. Five years ago today was the most horrid and wretched days that I can remember…it was the day that my Mom passed from this life into the next…and although we rejoiced that she was then with Jesus, the pain still stuck in my heart like a hook under the skin. She was such a beautiful woman, skilled in so many ways, more patient than most anyone I’ve ever known, silly, adventurous, daring at times and bold. She was also wise, spoke well of people, cared for those kids that no one else loved, and took real time to get to know someone. My Mom was also grounded in Truth. She showed me what it looked like to lean on the Lord in times of trial, and to be thankful when times of abundance were at our door. Often I would sleepily walk down the stairs and slowly enter the kitchen before sunrise to find her reading her Bible, with a cup of tea and maybe a cookie in hand. I’d ask her what she was reading, and she would read to me and then maybe tell me about what that scripture meant to her. I’m not sure if it ever bothered her that I wanted to be near her during those quiet times, but I was always curious about what she was learning herself!
As I’m here in Montana, in training to go overseas soon, I remember her often as I hike the mountain trails or sit by the river, and wonder what she would say to me now…..or what she would tell me about as she’s getting to know Jesus in such a different way than how we know him here on earth! In those moments, I talk to God….plead with him to comfort me, and to remind me of His faithfulness, so I don’t forget and become overwhelmed with grief. It’s in those moments, I often have conversations with God like the one below. All the words there are taken from scripture, but they are like the cries of my heart on days like today, and it’s comforting to have our Heavenly Father answer with confidence and hope the way only He can. Hopefully if you’re going through times of grief right now, this will speak to you strongly as it did to me too.
PRAYER: So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed. I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done. I spread out my hands to you; I thirst for you like a parched land. Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. (Psa 143:4-8 NIV)
ANSWER: I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you. (Gen 28:15 NIV)
PRAYER: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. (Psa 34:18; 10:14 NIV)
ANSWER: As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. Then young women will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. (Isa 66:13; Jer 31:13; Jhn 16:22 NIV)
PRAYER: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. (2Co 1:3-5 NIV)