Crying and struggling to finish the last 100 or so pages of the book “The Hawk and the Dove,” it has left me with a deep and thankful heart for all that Christ has brought me through. The last third of the book follows an Abbott from the 14th century who was severely maimed and crippled, then left nearly helpless after a terrible stoke muted and paralyzed the only workable side of his body. His dearest friend and fellow monk struggled for weeks to put the pain of his friends grief out of his mind, to not think of it meant “peace” in his heart, but I think we all know that that kind of peace is no peace at all, but a thick and muted grief of our own.

As I read the struggle of this monk to face the heartache of his Abbott and close friend, it connected in such a deep way. Years ago, going through too many close ones dying or battling against disability, I forged a path of holding in the pain and putting on a face to feel at “peace.” I think this is probably a common reaction that many of us have. Through difficult days and sleepless nights the grace of God met me and showed me that it was within this hurt that He could become real, in the dependence on Christ–the freedom of Christ’ loved flowed.

How sweet it is to dive into the deep, dive into the raw, the ragged and desolate and find Jesus there. To find his scarred hands and strong arms open and His eyes weeping with you.

This quote also struck me pretty square in the face…… 

How can we enter into this together and hold each other up while we struggle so as to not diminish the healing touch of God’s grace for the lonely?

Naming things is a big deal. It means a lot to the future of whatever it is that you name. Some studies I’ve read have even predicted that certain names will be more likely to advance in the work place, be suspended from school, get hired more often or be admitted into better schools. It’s crazy to think about these things, and how a little choice on names can seem to have such a profound impact. Yet history is a testament to the truth of this.

Even God uses specific names and titles to describe Himself with unique characteristics, and His people did the same. In 2 Chronicles 3:15-17, I was reading about Solomon building a temple for the Lord. He, in all his elaborate planning, decided to name two of the pillars outside the temple. He named them Jachin & Boaz. Seems normal enough, right? I guess for that time maybe.

For my curious self, I wanted to know what these names meant, because why would you name pillars of a temple? That seemed weird. According to an Int. Bible Standard Encyclopedia, the names Jachin & Boaz mean “He shall establish & In it is Strength”! Soak that in for a moment. As you walk through the temple columns, you pass through these two that mean “He shall establish and in it is strength.” It would bring you to your knees. It is at the throne of God that He will establish you, in His presence that you will gain your strength.”

It’s a good reminder to me that this is where my strength comes from. It cannot be gained through any other way, but only as I come before the Lord and wait for His strength to lead me. Knowing this, how often are we spending at the food of Him who strengthens and establishes us?

Sandy Beach, Juneau, AK

I’m ALMOST there…..but there’s still a chance to support me! Check out the fun video I just created to show you ways to be part of this mission!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz0qa_ai7kk

http://www.powtoon.com/embed/bnBy97FjfUr/

As I prepped to leave the Mountainside Training, I thought I’d send a snapshot and ask what you see……take a good long look at this photo and look at all the details.

Now I’ll tell you what I see. On the left are the couches and a piano against the wall. This is where we began & ended every day in prayer and somedays worship too. Each morning we prayed for the various missionaries around the world who are connected with International Messengers…what a privilege it was to pray for these men and women serving the Lord all over the world and to see how God is at work both here in the US and abroad! Next, the white tables in front of me is where every lunch was spent (and many other meals too), while getting to know the other teachers and students and new friends who would occasionally pop-in after a recent invitation. The stairs to the right of the main doors lead up to our classroom where we spent a few hours each day learning about many things having to do with cross-cultural ministry, studying scripture and learning about discipleship (and much much more). On the table just above the top of my computer is a stack of flip-cards with some Romanian phrases that I’ve been learning in my lessons twice a week. The flowers were picked from the road around the training center….these flowers were blooming everywhere! So. Pretty. The cards are for some of the people who really made an impact on me this Spring–teachers, students, pastors, friends, etc…leaving them with a note & verse, hoping to encourage and thank them. The photos on the fronts of the cards too are meaningful because they are ones I’ve taken during our many hikes around the mountains here.

The last few months have been an incredible time of stealing away to pray, digging into scripture, learning more about the road ahead and how to seek the Lord through every step. It’s going to be a grand adventure, and I’m really thankful for the time I was able to be at this training school. It’s also such a blessing to be part of an organization that really takes care of the missionaries and cares for their well-being, encouraging them to seek the Lord in His leading rather than simply telling us all how to fit into a “cookie-cutter” design.

Still, it is not easy to say goodbye….both to the people I’ve met while at training and to those of you here at home! This weekend now, I’m spending a few days with a few of my siblings and Dad, since I probably won’t see them all together for a long time. It’s good to be here and process all this with them and I’d like to meet up with you too to tell you more about what God is doing, and let you ask questions too. It has been fun to hear how I can be praying for some of you, because in those prayers, we are connected! Keep those requests coming. Please be praying for me too, as I say goodbye and spend this month raising the final support I need to go. Be in prayer about if God would like you to join me financially in this mission. We are all called specifically by God whether in your community at home or in your family or across the sea…..all of us are equally called and strengthened by Him to do the tasks He gives us. Looking forward to seeing where God calls you too!

ALSO–1) If you’re in the Maple Lake area, my aunts are planning a bake sale during the all-city garage sale, so stop on by! I’ll also have some of my cards there too and larger prints for sale. 2) If you’d be interested in getting some of my prints on cards or something else, I’ll have a post about how to do that soon. 🙂